(01/19/2010)

To maintain composure
To obtain composure
Seek and find the right
Seek and know the way.

Innocent of nothing
Blamed for all which is good
Hand and feet the same as mine
Hearts are equal and loving.

Worn and weary
Tired and anxious
Exhilirated and cautious
Seeking, seeking, searching.

The teacher is a student
A guide to find the lost
Water, fish, sheep, hearts
Brought home to peace.

Day One, Part Two

Today was particularly rough. I'm two months into my new job and had to make a hard choice. I sent two kiddos off to school a little under the weather instead of staying home with them to get them better. The weather is yucky and a sick day wouldn't have harmed them educationally. THey should have stayed home, but we didn't. So I went off to work and the weather caused slow moving traffic. So much so that I was almost 15 minutes late to work! That part is hard enough considering it's been years since I had to be to work by a specified time, much less by 8 AM. But it's the life I chose and I don't regret it. But today the boss pointed it out, made a cordial and not very judgmental comment, and didn't bring it up again. But it was the wrong day. Today it would have been ideal if he had just looked the other way. My heart was breaking. I sent my babies to school with fingers crossed that I wouldn't get the "Your kid is sick, come pick it up please" call from the nurse. I took a chance. *sigh*

No phone call from the school. They lasted the entire day, came home wired up and full of pep and energy, and wore me out right until they went to bed. I'm guessing there will be a middle of the night event like last night and there will be coughing, crying, and sore throats - again. Fun......

Strangely, I've spent a lot of my time lately in the best mood. The peace, the sanity, the warmth and kindness I've experienced since making this change in jobs has been extraordinary. But today? Today I cried. And not tears of joy. Silly I know, but I did.

I hope tomorrow's better or else I'll have to consider sleeping in until March.

Day One

I've tried this before. I started writing it down each day, but of course life ran away from me and it stopped happening. Lately I've been more encouraged to write it all down and although I still have old every day collections of thoughts and events, this is my "new leaf". From here I'll gather my thoughts daily. Please try and stay awake.