I woke up this morning with a smile. What a great life! Sure there are bumps in the road. But I have a roof over my head (securely), food on the table (obviously I'm not starving), gas in my car and (SOME) money in the bank. I hopped onto my laptop, checked my me-mail, balanced the checkbook (still happy!) and cruised on over to Facebook. My daughter was awake and on...yay! We chatted, I scolded for some missing homework, I gloated over going to the Gem Show all weekend and perused the internet for a while.
So why am I annoyed now? I'll tell you why, because this morning I also dealt with the very real decision of terminating a relationship. It was young, new and fresh....but I was naive and stupid and trusting. So when I finally clicked on that little "x" to terminate the link I felt a small pang of heartbreak. I trusted openly not just one, but two people...one of whom I still have to maintain a sort of relationship with five days a week. Now what? How do I look her in the eye and not want to scream and say "REALLY?! You couldn't just leave it alone?!" How do I go on?
I'll tell you how, by taking the high road. Oh yeah, I'm channeling my dad now. I know, I know...I'm better than she is so I should act more grown up than she does. I should suck it up, make the best of it and know that I was chosen not because I'm the lesser of two evils but because I'm worth it. Doesn't it feel good to know I'm god enough, smart enough and dog-goneit people like me? Yep, sure does.
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2 comments:
It has been about 10 years now, since my x and I split up. We dated all through H.S. and about a yr after. I am still dealing with that pain of a split. We talk about it from time to time and he has reassured me that it was not a result of anything about me, just that it was time to go our separate ways. I know this, b/c that was the reason I was going to break up with him, I think it was just that he said it first.
Following you... stumbled across your blog and you caught my interest.
My goodness! I don't know when you began to follow, as you can tell I haven't posted in quite some time. But I welcome you wholeheartedly!
I have so much to talk about and can't seem to find the time. But that's motherhood. I was hoping this would be mine...for me to find peace...but I can't find time so peace will have to wait a little longer.
I hope to "see" you around!
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